Permission to See Your Own Brilliance: Why Fixing Isn’t the Answer
Discover how embracing your imperfections can unlock the brilliance you’ve been hiding from yourself
When was the last time you heard someone describe your greatness?
Not what’s broken—what’s brilliant?
We live in a world obsessed with fixing ourselves, but what if the real magic lies in what’s already right?
Think about it. As soon as we reach an age where we can understand messages we start receiving constant reminders about our perceived flaws. Advertising messages consistently push us to shed pounds, build muscles, increase productivity, decrease emotions and maintain a balance of more and less. It’s exhausting.
Here’s the thing: this obsession with fixing ourselves? It’s a trap. This cycle of self-doubt results from our endless pursuit of unattainable ideals. But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead of obsessing over fixing ourselves, we gave ourselves permission to see our own brilliance?
Now, let me be clear—it's important to understand that I'm not suggesting we ignore or pretend that problems don't exist. A broken leg requires medical attention. And the same goes for your mind, your soul, your psyche. If you’re struggling, please go and get the help you need. Therapy, coaching, support groups—whatever is suitable and works best for you. There’s no shame in that. But while it’s important to address what’s broken, or doesn't work, it’s just as important to recognize what already does. Fixing what’s wrong doesn’t mean losing sight of what’s right.
The Trap of Fixing What’s “Wrong”
Why We’re Wired to Focus on Flaws and How It’s Holding Us Back
The way we've been conditioned by society pushes us to look for flaws. We incessantly use mental magnifying glasses to identify every possible flaw within ourselves. But here’s the kicker: The focus you put on broken aspects of yourself directly intensifies your feelings of brokenness. It’s a vicious cycle. And it’s not just personal—it’s cultural. The industries around us make money by exploiting our personal insecurities. Self-help books and fitness programs along with beauty products all depend on the notion that we aren’t sufficient in our current state.
But here’s the truth: you’re not a problem to be fixed. You’re a masterpiece in progress. And the sooner you start seeing yourself that way, the sooner you can break free from the trap.
Flipping the Script
What Happens When You Focus on What’s Right Instead of What’s Broken
Imagine this: You’re sitting across from a friend. They share their battles and self-doubts while explaining how insufficient they feel. You maintain eye contact with them and ask, “You know what I see? I see someone who possesses strength and resilience along with huge untapped potential." I’ll tell you what happens. Their entire demeanor shifts. Their shoulders relax. Their eyes light up. For the first time in ages they are truly recognized—not for their imperfections but for their brilliance.
And you can do this for yourself, too. Begin by asking yourself this fundamental question: What aspects of me are positive? Not what needs fixing—what’s already amazing? The things that stand out about you might be your humor or your ability to create connections with others. Whatever it is, own it. Celebrate it.
The Ripple Effect of Recognition
How Celebrating Brilliance in Others Creates Connection and Confidence
Recognizing your own brilliance leads to a personal transformation that impacts how you view others. People begin to reveal their positive traits to you. You start to lift them up. When you take this action you initiate an extraordinary change. You create a ripple effect. Most people desperately desire acknowledgment to understand who they are at their core. Through your act of giving that gift you initiate a ripple effect. They start to see themselves differently. Their belief in their own brilliance begins. And the best part? Elevating others results in your own self-improvement. It functions as an unseen universal principle. What you give others will return to you in greater measure.
Giving Yourself Permission
Understanding and embracing your unique brilliance through practical steps demands effort and commitment.
Our conditioning to look for problems makes it difficult to change our viewpoint. It’s like retraining your brain. And it starts with small, intentional steps.
Here’s one: Start a “brilliance journal.” Every day write one positive action down in it. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering. Maybe you made someone laugh. You completed a task you postponed for so long. You managed to get out of bed although you didn’t feel like doing it. Whatever it is, write it down.
Over time, you’ll start to see a pattern. You’ll start to notice the things that make you uniquely you. And once you see them, you can’t unsee them.
Another step? Pay it forward. Whenever you chat with another person whether they are a friend, co-worker, or a stranger make sure to point out something wonderful about them. The statement doesn’t need to be an extravagant proclamation. It can be as simple as saying, “I really admire how you handled that situation,” or “You have such a great energy about you.”
How to Start Lifting Yourself and Others Up Today
So here’s your challenge: Today, show someone what’s right with them. Not what they need to fix—what makes them brilliant. Focus on what makes them stand out from the crowd instead of what they need to fix. And whilst you're at it, don’t forget to apply this mindset to yourself during this process. Note one attribute you appreciate about your character. The initial awkwardness will fade once you realize how important this practice is. Raising others to new heights enables all of us to grow together. That’s the power of connection. We gain immense strength when we focus on recognizing our brilliance and choose to celebrate it.
And if you’re ready to take this mindset to the next level, check out my coaching. It’s all about creating a life and business that’s in alignment with who you are, because when you focus on what’s right, everything else falls into place. Why settle for difficult when you can have easy?
PS. Huge thanks to
for her brilliant question that sparked this article. Without her nudge, it wouldn’t have come to life.
This is a great post, Andy! There’s a few other nice turns of phrases in it too. It's like you're inviting us to make a decision to focus on our own brilliance and therefore we see others too. Or the other way round works as well. Takes courage to do it though, in a society which is focused on 'the needed fix', as you so eloquently point out.